


fiction could never compare

by wortschatz



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Near Future, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: s02e20 Beside Still Water, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, booknerd alec is a trope that you can pry from my cold dead hands, this is also just a love letter from me to books tbh so....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 15:25:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13527126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wortschatz/pseuds/wortschatz
Summary: "You know, I used to spend every free minute here," he said softly, back still facing Magnus. Knowing Alec recognized his presence without having to see him, was something that filled Magnus with light, so bright and burning that it warmed every corner of his body. "This was... my sanctuary. I would choose a book, sit in front of the window and just... get lost. In someone else's world, someone else's problems. I only realized today how long I haven't been back here."





	fiction could never compare

**Author's Note:**

> This is embarrassingly late, but here we finally are. 
> 
> Dedicated to [Holly](https://magnusbanne.tumblr.com) \- I adore you, darling, and I cannot wait to give you the cuddles you deserve in a few months. Thanks for being such a wonderful friend <3.
> 
> A massive thank you to [Francy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hufflebee/pseuds/hufflebee) for kicking my ass, and for beta reading!! I love you bub!!

_**"Books are the plane, and the train, and the road. They are the destination, and the journey. They are home." -** _ **Anna Quindlen**

* * *

His footsteps echoed on the tiles leaving a trail of rainwater behind as Magnus was walking through the almost empty hallways of the Institute. With it being nighttime, most of the Shadowhunters were out on patrol, on observation duty in the OPS center, or simply out for the night. 

 

Magnus was used to attracting other people's looks, often appreciative, others of more disdainful nature. Either way, he never really cared much, attention being something he wore well. At this point though, him turning up at the institute at all hours of the day was such a common occurrence that barely anyone spared him a single glance. 

 

So he made his way through the familiar corridors of the institute. As much as he knew Alec loved his job he had a tendency to go overboard, to worry about things he couldn't change immediately, checking plans a hundred times to make sure everything was running smoothly. Magnus could hardly blame him, knowing how running the Institute had always been Alec's dream, and how hard he had fought to get to where he was today. 

 

Nevertheless, Alec was not just a leader to his people, but human as well - something he liked to ignore time and time again when he slaved away over his desk into the early hours of the night. Just a week ago, Magnus had found himself on a similar mission when his boyfriend hadn't come home for dinner for the third time in a row... only to find him slumped over his desk, fast asleep.

 

His motives might not have been completely selfless because nights at the loft without Alec did not feel the same ever since he moved in, his bed suddenly seeming a million times more lonely and colder, but what concerned Magnus the most was Alec's well-being. They were both fiercely protective of each other, and sometimes that included protecting someone from themselves. 

 

Lost in thought, Magnus turned around the corner to the hallway of Alec's office, almost bumping into Izzy.

 

"Magnus, hey. What are you doing here?" Izzy smiled at him.

 

"I'm here to collect my boyfriend, who seems to think that sleep is overrated."

 

"He's not at home? I just checked his office and he's not in there, so I assumed he finally took my advice and got out of here."

 

"No, he's not. I mean, I might have missed him but he usually texts me before he leaves, so…," Magnus said, pulling out his phone to check for messages once more. But except for a missed call from Catarina, his phone screen came up empty.

 

"Right... Hey, I gotta go, I'm on late night patrol tonight. Text me when you find him though, yeah? I’m sure he’s okay," Izzy said, squeezing his arm, and continued walking down the hallway.

 

"Oh hey, you might wanna check the library, top floor, it's where he used to spend all his free time. If he’s not in his office, and you didn’t see him in the OPS center, there’s a pretty big chance you’ll find him there. Goodnight."

 

"Night Izzy, and good luck, stay safe."

 

Library. Interesting. In all those months that Alec and Magnus had been dating, Magnus hadn't been inside the Institute's library once. It was common knowledge that each Institute came with a well-equipped library, but Alec spending his free time there was a completely new revelation for Magnus. 

 

Technically, they hadn't been dating for very long at this point, those few months hopefully being the start of what would turn into their forever, but after a short adjustment period, they had quickly developed such a comfortability with each other that Magnus was only used to having with people he had known for years, decades even. Being open and sharing things about himself, making himself vulnerable weren’t things that came naturally to Magnus. He had been burned too many times before to let himself believe that someone was out there who would look past the not so pretty parts of him, that someone would accept  _ all _ of him.

 

But Alec… Alec had always worn his heart on his sleeve. Having no frame of reference for relationships he dived right in, the only way he knew how. And Magnus would be lying if he said it wasn’t the most endearing and refreshing thing he had ever experienced. It was like dating your best friend, sharing all your deepest, darkest secrets with them, and realizing nothing had changed between you. It was a shock to his system when Magnus opened up to Alec and looked at him the same - with more love and deeper care than Magnus knew what to do with.

 

So Magnus made his way to the top floor, determined to get his boyfriend to take a break and get some sleep in his bed for once. The second the doors of the elevator opened, he could smell the scent of old books wafting over from the only door on this floor.

 

Entering the library, it wasn't hard for Magnus to find Alec among the rows of shelves. He was standing near a big window, arms crossed over his chest as he was watching the rain pour down on the streets of New York. He seemed lost in thought as if he was in a different place. Magnus considered making himself heard, but before he could say anything, Alec started speaking.

 

"You know, I used to spend every free minute here," he said softly, back still facing Magnus. Knowing Alec recognized his presence without having to see him, was something that filled Magnus with light, so bright and burning that it warmed every corner of his body. "This was... my sanctuary. I would choose a book, sit in front of the window and just... get lost. In someone else's world, someone else's problems. I only realized today how long I haven't been back here."

 

"Do you miss it?" Magnus said after a moment, walking up and joining Alec near the window. 

 

"Sometimes. I mean... When I came here, I wasn't happy, you know? I wasn't in a good space. And I don't miss that part. I still get caught up in my own head sometimes, but I find that I have different ways of getting out of that now," Alec answered, finally locking eyes with Magnus, and offering a small smile.

 

"But... it helped me so much. Sometimes the only thing that got me through the day was knowing I could dive into a new book at the end of it. It helped me forget who I was, what was expected of me. There was a time when I was... around 14 or 15, that my mom found me here, in the early hours of the morning. She started locking up the library after dark so I wouldn't end up spending all my nights up here," Alec chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

 

Magnus smiled, but kept quiet otherwise, knowing that this was something Alec needed to get off his chest. He could almost picture it, a teenaged Alec bundled up in front of the big window, a leatherbound book in his hands, while the sun was painting colorful images on the hardwood floor. Knowing how much Alec struggled with coming to terms with who he was and whom he loved, it was a vision equally heartbreaking and endearing.

 

“I started sneaking into bookshops when I was on my way home from a mission instead… I don’t think anyone here realized how much I loved reading, how much I _ needed _ it. It was my escape from real life. It gave me the chance to focus on something other than my parents’ condescending comments, of always being compared to Jace, of never feeling good enough and like I was … trapped because of who I am. There was no space for me here… or at least not for every part of me.” There was a bitterness to Alec’s voice, and even though Magnus knew that he had grown and mostly let go of his past, it still made his heart ache for the teenager who had so desperately tried to change something about himself that didn’t need changing at all.

 

“You know you don’t have to give up reading right? Even though you might have less time now, you’re welcome to browse the shelves at home,” Magnus said quietly, bringing his hand up to rest on Alec’s arm. He understood Alec’s desire to get away from reality every once in a while, having found comfort in literature himself over the course of his life.

 

“I know,” Alec sighed. ”And I’m sure I will pick it up again at some point. Just… not yet. Everything has been so busy with the Clave trying to get everything back under control now that Valentine’s dead, and the whole Seelie Queen situation. I feel like I barely have time for reality at this point.” 

 

“Fair enough,” Magnus said, letting his hand drop from Alec’s arm. “Speaking of reality… think you could leave today’s story behind, and come home? I hear your boyfriend misses you quite a bit,” he added, bumping his shoulder into Alec’s. Just as he hoped it made a beautiful smile blossom on Alec’s face, erasing the tenseness from before.

 

“Does he now? Where did you hear that?”

 

“Let’s just say I have very reliable sources,” Magnus answered, barely concealing a mischievous smile.

 

“Well, I better not keep him waiting any longer then.”

 

Alec reached for Magnus’ hand, interlaced their fingers before pressing a soft kiss to his temple.

 

“Let’s go home.”

 

And together they made their way back through the corridors of the Institute, Magnus suddenly feeling a lot lighter than when he first entered the old church. And yet, he felt the urge to bring back the topic of reading once more, wanting to reassure Alec that home was where he had no obligations, a place that he hoped would be Alec’s new sanctuary where he could live out every part of himself.

 

“I was serious about reading at home, you know that right? I don’t want you to give up something that is so important to you.”

 

“I know,” Alec said, giving Magnus’ hand a squeeze. “And I appreciate it. But it’s not like these stories are running away from me. They’ll be waiting, whether I pick them up today, tomorrow, or in a hundred years.”

 

And as the front door of the Institute fell shut behind them, Alec looked at Magnus once more, the soft light of the moon reflecting in his eyes. 

 

“Besides... for the first time in my life, I don’t feel like I have to run from reality.”

 

A silent  _ because fiction could never compare _ ringing with it. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!! :) You can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/allforeffort) and [tumblr](https://highwarlockofhell.tumblr.com).


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